Sunday, June 7, 2009
Have one for the road
Just a quick note to let you all know that every drink in the air is worth up to three on the ground depending on the individual. Yesterday we sold approx 650 bucks in booze on board my plane heading to a destination full of sin!!! And please don't tell your FA that you love them after you've had 4 or 5 drinks cause were reeeeally not in the mood to hear some drunk moron babble on and on haha. Anyways this is just a short one ill promise to come up with a better story next time but man ive had some pretty decent flights with no crazies on them so kinda makes it hard to blog about. Im pretty sure not many people read this anyways right now but someday....just someday I might be blog famous haha Peace out
Thursday, May 28, 2009
"I love you like a son"
So after a few bitching messages its time for another feel good one and just the other day something happened to me which was very cute so I figured I'd share it with you. We had an elderly lady come to the gate and was brought there by her daughter who was not traveling with her but was issued a gate pass to clear security and bring her to the appropriate gate. Well the elderly lady was of east Indian decent and didn't speak a lot of English or much at all so the daughter asked us to take special care of her and see that she makes it to the baggage area in the arrival city. I of course told her we would treat her like gold and make sure she made it safe and sound.
The elderly lady boarded our plane and was right up front and was in my section for service and I served her some water and a snack complimentary to which she tried to pay me for and when I said it was free she wanted to tip me the money. How cute is that?? Anyways the flight ended and I told her to remain seated till everyone has deplaned and we would get her in a wheel chair and down to meet her other daughter picking her up at the airport. As I got her to the wheel chair and said goodbye and wished her lots of fun on her visit she looked up and me and in very poor English she said "I love you like a son......love you like a son"!!!! Damm I'm good eh haha
The elderly lady boarded our plane and was right up front and was in my section for service and I served her some water and a snack complimentary to which she tried to pay me for and when I said it was free she wanted to tip me the money. How cute is that?? Anyways the flight ended and I told her to remain seated till everyone has deplaned and we would get her in a wheel chair and down to meet her other daughter picking her up at the airport. As I got her to the wheel chair and said goodbye and wished her lots of fun on her visit she looked up and me and in very poor English she said "I love you like a son......love you like a son"!!!! Damm I'm good eh haha
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Snoring
You know you've all done it, I myself and guilty of it (probably more than I'm willing to admit). Snoring is natures way of saying good job today you deserve this wonderful bought of sleep in which your body is snoring with excitement. Okay really who am I kidding but in all seriousness folks if your a really loud snorer, then please please heed these words..........Nasal Strips!!!!!
How annoying is it to be flying along, your talking to your seat mate perhaps. Perhaps your totally ignoring them cause they are kinda weird and you'd just rather pretend that your a busy busy person and couldn't possibly stop for a conversation. Orrrrrr you pretend to sleep so maybe they'll nod off as well. Aight well you get the point I'm sure, but this is where the trickery starts. Its really poop on you cause the person ends up being THEE biggest, loudest and deepest snorer ever and now your stick next to them for however long the flight is. You just wanna shove whatever you can in their face to either wake them up of have them swallow half of it and suffocate (okay maybe the latter is a bit extreme but GAH its so annoying and grating on ones nerves).
So this brings me to how this all applies to my blog. Folks imagine how many people a day I have to listen to snore. Some people are lucky enough to be asleep not even 2 mins after they are in their seat and trying to do a demo next to a row with a snorer is not only difficult hearing but everyone around can hear it to and I'm supposed to pretend that I don't wanna laugh my ass of at the fool. Needless to say like I mentioned before but Breathe Right Nasal Strips work wonders I hear.
Kapeesh?
How annoying is it to be flying along, your talking to your seat mate perhaps. Perhaps your totally ignoring them cause they are kinda weird and you'd just rather pretend that your a busy busy person and couldn't possibly stop for a conversation. Orrrrrr you pretend to sleep so maybe they'll nod off as well. Aight well you get the point I'm sure, but this is where the trickery starts. Its really poop on you cause the person ends up being THEE biggest, loudest and deepest snorer ever and now your stick next to them for however long the flight is. You just wanna shove whatever you can in their face to either wake them up of have them swallow half of it and suffocate (okay maybe the latter is a bit extreme but GAH its so annoying and grating on ones nerves).
So this brings me to how this all applies to my blog. Folks imagine how many people a day I have to listen to snore. Some people are lucky enough to be asleep not even 2 mins after they are in their seat and trying to do a demo next to a row with a snorer is not only difficult hearing but everyone around can hear it to and I'm supposed to pretend that I don't wanna laugh my ass of at the fool. Needless to say like I mentioned before but Breathe Right Nasal Strips work wonders I hear.
Kapeesh?
Friday, May 15, 2009
"YOU HAVE BEEN HEALED" - Miracales at Work
So I have to share this story with you all (and by you all I do me the very few that probably read this at this point). But yesterday at work we started really early in the morning and only had a min crew rest of 1150 mins the night before so needless to say it was a long day but the crowds were good and this usually is a saving grace on a long ass day. So its the last flight of our day and were just at this point where giddiness of being tired starts to kick in and crazy shit seems to always happen.
In the airline bizz (thats right I can say bizz cause im in it and im cool like that) folks who can't walk at all or have very limited mobility with their legs are brought down the bridge in a regular wheelchair then transfer ed to a aisle chair called "The Washington Chair" (don't ask me why its called that I didn't come up with it) and then brought onto the aircraft and then transferred from the aisle chair to the seat in which they have been seat assigned. So this isn't something new to us and were used to it and sure as you know it we had a carry on on the last flight of the night. A little old lady who just seemed frail and from what I could tell prob had little mobility. Sure come onboard nice to see you tonight, you know how it is all smiles and how are you's. So remember now she has just been carried onto the aircraft.
We get all boarded up and take off and were on our way. Its a quick flight thankfully and as soon as we knew it were were on the ground in our destination city and pulling up to the gate. The CSA knocks on the door after bridging the plane and I pop open the main cabin door. A quick confirmation from the CSA asking if we do have a true carry off in which I reply yes cause she was, well carried on. Well folks not even 10 seconds for me to turn around and step back to let the first 4 or so folks off in the first row was that little elderly lady walkin on out the front door right behind them. Don't fuckin tell me my jaw didn't hit the floor when I saw that not only could she walk but she could walk with really no issues at all. OMFG OMFG YOU HAVE BEEN HEALED I wanted to yell. Ive seen folks who were just listed as wheel chair for distance who are wheeled up to the main cabin door and they walk to their seat before, ive seen them get up and walk out but I mean tahts expected most of the time cause they can walk but just not long distances so they usually don't like to wait till the end to get wheeled up to the top of the bridge so they walk up themselves. However, NEVER have I EVER, seen a full carry on get up and walk out. Miracles ladies and gentlemen, I provide miracles everyday at work.......you should feel honoured to know me ;D
In the airline bizz (thats right I can say bizz cause im in it and im cool like that) folks who can't walk at all or have very limited mobility with their legs are brought down the bridge in a regular wheelchair then transfer ed to a aisle chair called "The Washington Chair" (don't ask me why its called that I didn't come up with it) and then brought onto the aircraft and then transferred from the aisle chair to the seat in which they have been seat assigned. So this isn't something new to us and were used to it and sure as you know it we had a carry on on the last flight of the night. A little old lady who just seemed frail and from what I could tell prob had little mobility. Sure come onboard nice to see you tonight, you know how it is all smiles and how are you's. So remember now she has just been carried onto the aircraft.
We get all boarded up and take off and were on our way. Its a quick flight thankfully and as soon as we knew it were were on the ground in our destination city and pulling up to the gate. The CSA knocks on the door after bridging the plane and I pop open the main cabin door. A quick confirmation from the CSA asking if we do have a true carry off in which I reply yes cause she was, well carried on. Well folks not even 10 seconds for me to turn around and step back to let the first 4 or so folks off in the first row was that little elderly lady walkin on out the front door right behind them. Don't fuckin tell me my jaw didn't hit the floor when I saw that not only could she walk but she could walk with really no issues at all. OMFG OMFG YOU HAVE BEEN HEALED I wanted to yell. Ive seen folks who were just listed as wheel chair for distance who are wheeled up to the main cabin door and they walk to their seat before, ive seen them get up and walk out but I mean tahts expected most of the time cause they can walk but just not long distances so they usually don't like to wait till the end to get wheeled up to the top of the bridge so they walk up themselves. However, NEVER have I EVER, seen a full carry on get up and walk out. Miracles ladies and gentlemen, I provide miracles everyday at work.......you should feel honoured to know me ;D
Saturday, May 9, 2009
I work with stupid people
So I know what your all thinking how could you possibly work with stupid people, well let me tell you haha Its so frustrating getting on a plane in the morning to start my day only to find that things are left a mess and not stocked up properly. Isn't it a common thing in society that you should leave something the way you want to find it? Is it really fair to make someone else finish the job that you were supposed to do right the first time? Come on people our jobs not that difficult that you can't friggin finish doing what your supposed to do.
The reason I bitch about this is cause my last pairing was an early morning start pairing for all 4 days and ALL four days when we got on the plane in the morning the crew from the night before did not properly prepare the plane so it was ready for us to get on in the morning and be able to just open our kits and be done with it. But nope instead we had to go thru all the compartments to make sure the things were done right so we didn't run out of something in the middle of a flight. Thus giving us a little extra work to do in the morning.
Id also like to post this as one my most bestest friends has pointed out to me that my spelling isn't always correct and my grammar is terrible. For those of you who care I tell you to suck it up and for those of you who don't care then I thank you haha So be warned about up and coming posts.........spelling will not be perfect! Consider that a disclaimer haha
The reason I bitch about this is cause my last pairing was an early morning start pairing for all 4 days and ALL four days when we got on the plane in the morning the crew from the night before did not properly prepare the plane so it was ready for us to get on in the morning and be able to just open our kits and be done with it. But nope instead we had to go thru all the compartments to make sure the things were done right so we didn't run out of something in the middle of a flight. Thus giving us a little extra work to do in the morning.
Id also like to post this as one my most bestest friends has pointed out to me that my spelling isn't always correct and my grammar is terrible. For those of you who care I tell you to suck it up and for those of you who don't care then I thank you haha So be warned about up and coming posts.........spelling will not be perfect! Consider that a disclaimer haha
Friday, April 24, 2009
Warm Fuzzies
So its been a few days since I last posted anything so I was thinkin bout what I can talk about today and I decided to not be negative today and to post a nice story about people and folks whom I appriciate on flights.
I was just working the past few days and on the last day I was making the annoncements and such. Im not a very funny person but during the demo I like to say things to make people laugh and even pay attention to what where doing as we are doing it for their benifit ha. So yeah at the end of all three of our flights I had lots of people compliment me that they enjoyed my scence of humour and even had one gentleman tell me that "It was the first time in a long time that he's paid attention and enjoy the demo" Its things like that that totally out weight the negative and stupid people that we get on board. Its so easy to focus on the negative as well cause those are the people that get to you and in all reality those people usually only make up about 10% of people that are on board. So yeah for those of you out there reading who are nice and use their please and thank you's and don't demand demand demand like im your personal servant, then applauds out to you and from this flight attendant to you.........I appriciate it
I was just working the past few days and on the last day I was making the annoncements and such. Im not a very funny person but during the demo I like to say things to make people laugh and even pay attention to what where doing as we are doing it for their benifit ha. So yeah at the end of all three of our flights I had lots of people compliment me that they enjoyed my scence of humour and even had one gentleman tell me that "It was the first time in a long time that he's paid attention and enjoy the demo" Its things like that that totally out weight the negative and stupid people that we get on board. Its so easy to focus on the negative as well cause those are the people that get to you and in all reality those people usually only make up about 10% of people that are on board. So yeah for those of you out there reading who are nice and use their please and thank you's and don't demand demand demand like im your personal servant, then applauds out to you and from this flight attendant to you.........I appriciate it
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Everybody Poops
So its been a few days since I last posted and I was trying to figure out what stories to tell this time around that would be of any interest to someone reading but also somewhat humerous as well lol Anyways I just finished reading my best friends blog and wouldn't you know it, its about pooping and her daughters success and unsuccess at doing number 2 haha Anyways it gave me an idea of what to write about. Oh yeah and by the way im in a tropical location right now as I type this......lovin the job haha
Anyways so were flyin to this tropical location and this old bitty of a bag and her husband get on and they are sitting two isles opposite each other cause apparently he can't even stand her. There happen to be a baby sitting in the row behind as well. Ill back it up a bit....I was lead on the flight and my job is to stand at the front door and check boarding passes and greet people as they come on board (no were not looking at your seat number when im looking at your boarding passes so stop telling me "oh im in 6A" cause I dont' give a fuck...but thats another blog alltogether ha). So anyways she comes on and I say "Hello there how are you today" with no responce from her or even eye contact. So incase she didn't hear me I say a bit louder and pretty much in her ear "Hello there welcome on board" to which she shoots me a look like I just said "Who Farted". So half way thru the flight the baby behind her shits hits diaper and needs a changing. Remember folks we all poop and you were a baby once too who shat their pants and it didn't smell pretty. So the call button goes off and its the baby momma and she just wants a bag to go change the bum and tie the diaper off in the bag and dispose of it properly. It smelt really bad but when your in a presurized tube hurdlin thru the air out over the pacific ocean, there isn't many places you can go to escape the smell. It takes about 2 mins for the cabin to recirculate the air and make it all go away so suck it up for that time and you'll be fine. So im sitting up in the front gally and this old bag gets enough strength to come up to the front and in her hoity toity voice says something like, "That baby behind me smells, are their no other seats you can move me to?" I wanted to tell her to shit down shut the fuck up and don't be such a bag but no I digress and told her "Yes im aware and she's going to change it right now" Then she went on to tell me that her husband had to sit next to a baby once for 4 hours and it cried the whole way. Ive been flying for 3 years now and ive never met a baby who could cry soldid for 4 hours without stopping.
None the less this lady expected me to do something about it and I just stared back at her till she went to sit down and realize that im not doing a single thing. ITS BABY......THE POOP..........DEAL WITH IT. *Breath* haha
Anyways so were flyin to this tropical location and this old bitty of a bag and her husband get on and they are sitting two isles opposite each other cause apparently he can't even stand her. There happen to be a baby sitting in the row behind as well. Ill back it up a bit....I was lead on the flight and my job is to stand at the front door and check boarding passes and greet people as they come on board (no were not looking at your seat number when im looking at your boarding passes so stop telling me "oh im in 6A" cause I dont' give a fuck...but thats another blog alltogether ha). So anyways she comes on and I say "Hello there how are you today" with no responce from her or even eye contact. So incase she didn't hear me I say a bit louder and pretty much in her ear "Hello there welcome on board" to which she shoots me a look like I just said "Who Farted". So half way thru the flight the baby behind her shits hits diaper and needs a changing. Remember folks we all poop and you were a baby once too who shat their pants and it didn't smell pretty. So the call button goes off and its the baby momma and she just wants a bag to go change the bum and tie the diaper off in the bag and dispose of it properly. It smelt really bad but when your in a presurized tube hurdlin thru the air out over the pacific ocean, there isn't many places you can go to escape the smell. It takes about 2 mins for the cabin to recirculate the air and make it all go away so suck it up for that time and you'll be fine. So im sitting up in the front gally and this old bag gets enough strength to come up to the front and in her hoity toity voice says something like, "That baby behind me smells, are their no other seats you can move me to?" I wanted to tell her to shit down shut the fuck up and don't be such a bag but no I digress and told her "Yes im aware and she's going to change it right now" Then she went on to tell me that her husband had to sit next to a baby once for 4 hours and it cried the whole way. Ive been flying for 3 years now and ive never met a baby who could cry soldid for 4 hours without stopping.
None the less this lady expected me to do something about it and I just stared back at her till she went to sit down and realize that im not doing a single thing. ITS BABY......THE POOP..........DEAL WITH IT. *Breath* haha
Monday, April 13, 2009
Something to make you smile
Something that I get a kick outta and fits the mood sometimes for sure. Check it out its pretty funny.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Where do we find these people?
Okay so I just got home from bein on the road for 5 days and albeit it was a great 5 days, had a great crew so that def aided to the fun. Spent 25 hours in Mexico on thurs night and was a blast. You can't complain about temps that are sunny and 30 out for a layover that's for sure. I got home late last night and after working a 10 hour day yesterday it was crash and burn for me. The good thing about all of it is im off for the next 4 days and am gonna be finalizing all my new condo stuff and goin out shopping for a couch yay haha
Anyways I had a little story from yesterday that I thought I would share with you all from my flight. Well a dude comes on and he's in the emerg row so I go to brief him and he doesn't seem all there and keep in mind when a CSA checks someone into those seats they are to make sure they are able bodied and willing to help out in the event of an emergency. SO yeah I could smell a bit of booze on the dude but he seem to get the briefing so I just let it pass and we took off. Well turns out after we landed and he was deplaning the guests as that same dude who was to be responsible for the rest of the cabin should an evacuation happen and he would be responsible to open the over wing exit......he pissed himself. That's right a fuckin 50 year old dude couldn't even be responsible enough of himself to get up and take a piss in the lavatory it just wet himself right in the seat.
If you think being a flight attendant is all glamorous all the time well you are sorely mistaken haha Yes the layovers are wonderful sometimes and the job itself isn't very hard but seriously, grown adults fuckin pissing their pants is rather ridiculous. Oh well I just chalk it up to another day in the skies haha
Anyways I had a little story from yesterday that I thought I would share with you all from my flight. Well a dude comes on and he's in the emerg row so I go to brief him and he doesn't seem all there and keep in mind when a CSA checks someone into those seats they are to make sure they are able bodied and willing to help out in the event of an emergency. SO yeah I could smell a bit of booze on the dude but he seem to get the briefing so I just let it pass and we took off. Well turns out after we landed and he was deplaning the guests as that same dude who was to be responsible for the rest of the cabin should an evacuation happen and he would be responsible to open the over wing exit......he pissed himself. That's right a fuckin 50 year old dude couldn't even be responsible enough of himself to get up and take a piss in the lavatory it just wet himself right in the seat.
If you think being a flight attendant is all glamorous all the time well you are sorely mistaken haha Yes the layovers are wonderful sometimes and the job itself isn't very hard but seriously, grown adults fuckin pissing their pants is rather ridiculous. Oh well I just chalk it up to another day in the skies haha
Monday, April 6, 2009
Cabin "Secure" for Takeoff
So post number two, how nervous am I to start down this journey of blogging haha Its kinda like those mixed emotions of you don't wanna disappoint people and waste their time so you gotta make sure that what your talking about is interesting but then isn't everything I talk about interesting or is that just maybe to me??!?!?! Regardless of that though here we go.........."Cabin is Secure for take off".
Folks lets just huddle up here and have a little heart to heart. Since when has society become so blatantly rude to totally disregard someone when they ask you do to something when its society that is using my company's services. I know tickets are costly and lets be honest flyin ain't cheep.......but come on have the human decency to at least acknowledge someones existence when they are talking to you. Before every flight we do a cabin walk thru to make sure all head sets are takin from around the ears and necks and either in your lap or the seat pocket in front of you. Its said in the announcement that you probably ignored cause you think you know it by heart cause "you've heard it so many times." Folks its a Transport Canada regulation that all people are paying attention to what is going on around them during take off and landing, the most dangerous parts of the flight. So when I ask you to take your head set off, please don't huff and roll your eyes like a two year old. You act like I just asked if you wouldn't mind cutting your arm off for me. And here is the part that im gonna love best about this blog is that I can say things that I really wish I could say on a plane to the stupid people............The statistic of plane crashes is something like 90% of all crashes occur with in 10 mins of take off and landing..............SO FUCKIN PAY ATTENTION :o)
Folks lets just huddle up here and have a little heart to heart. Since when has society become so blatantly rude to totally disregard someone when they ask you do to something when its society that is using my company's services. I know tickets are costly and lets be honest flyin ain't cheep.......but come on have the human decency to at least acknowledge someones existence when they are talking to you. Before every flight we do a cabin walk thru to make sure all head sets are takin from around the ears and necks and either in your lap or the seat pocket in front of you. Its said in the announcement that you probably ignored cause you think you know it by heart cause "you've heard it so many times." Folks its a Transport Canada regulation that all people are paying attention to what is going on around them during take off and landing, the most dangerous parts of the flight. So when I ask you to take your head set off, please don't huff and roll your eyes like a two year old. You act like I just asked if you wouldn't mind cutting your arm off for me. And here is the part that im gonna love best about this blog is that I can say things that I really wish I could say on a plane to the stupid people............The statistic of plane crashes is something like 90% of all crashes occur with in 10 mins of take off and landing..............SO FUCKIN PAY ATTENTION :o)
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Welcome on Board
So hello there first of all I guess I could introduce myself. Im human and I have hair and two eyes and a nose....go figure eh haha and I work for an Airline. Ive been with them for three years now. Lovin every min of it but im sure your all aware of how lame society has become and accepts no responsiblities for their own actions. Well im gonna use this blog to vent about stupid people that I come accross on a day to day basis and and share the funny stories. Im not always the best at keeping things up to date so hopefully ill be able to stay on top of it but none the less. Also hopefully this blog will educate people on the do's and don'ts of flying and how NOT to piss off your flight attendant :0)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)